Thursday, January 17, 2013

Jaipur to Pushkar

On the third day in Jaipur I checked out the Amber fort which was pretty amazing with some great views.  The next day I hopped a bus to Ajmer, which is next to Pushkar, the hippie haven.  I realized that travelling by bus is not my favorite mode of transport in India, as the same rules of the road that apply to taxis, rickshaws, and motos apply to buses, in that there are no rules and you can pass people within inches like it ain't no thang.  Being seated in the second row of the bus I had an excellent understanding of just how close we were coming to killing ourselves and the other poor bastards who shared the road with us.  I was unable to relax and realized that the driver was honking quite a bit.  In an attempt to entertain myself I counted the number of honks he blasted every minute for 10 minutes which averaged out to 4.7 per minute, which, on a 2.5 hour bus ride is 705 honks.  This includes long stretches of no honking and all honks, not matter how long or short were counted as one honk.  Fuuuuuuuck.  Honking here is used to express the following:
1. I am here
2. I am passing
3. Get out of my way
4. Hello
5. Holy fuck, get out of my way!
Often times, honking like a champ did absolutely nothing to encourage the quickly approaching giant truck or hatchback full of family members to get into their fucking lane instead of straddling two (for absolutely no reason).  Additionally, instead of slowing down so as not to rear end a car or truck in front of us, our driver would swerve the giant bus around them.  Many a close call were had by all.
After a couple of hours we stopped at a public bathroom on the side of the road to take whizzes.  The urinals looked like regular urinals, but below them was a pool of urine that sat on the floor on a marble slab that slanted towards the wall, away from my feet.  I realized as I pissed that the urinals drained directly onto the wall behind them and down onto the floor, hence the pool.  I was doing my part, yes I was.

I arrived in Ajmer at teh bus station hungry and on edge from the bus ride.  I asked for the Pushkar bus and was directed to the very last ticket window where I waited for the bus with a bunch of locals when I was approached by an English speaking guy in his 20 who asked...I'll be you can't guess, "Where are you from?" We had a nice little conversation. Eventually he got to the point which was if I had a hotel and if I'd like to stay at his family's hotel.  It wasn't well known, but it was very nice, blah blah blah. This place (touristy Rajasthan) makes you a liar, makes you wiggle your way out of conversations, out of perceived business deals, makes you want to tell people to go fuck themselves.  But you don't.  You thank them and say no thank you repeatedly.  More on this later.

Finally the bus came and I crammed in with the 80 locals on their way to Pushkar.  There was a 10 year old kid with big jewel-encrusted heart-shaped earrings sitting on his late 20's uncle, friend, older brother's lap looking at me and smiling and joking with his uncle-pal for the entire bus ride.  I hope I made him feel good.  

Put that in your SkullBong and hit it 4.7 times per minute.

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