Seoul II.5: PC Bangs n such

In all my travels through Europe, Central America, and India (white privilege!) my computer use has generally been confined to internet cafes which generally feature elders of the pc world, slow, yet functional, occasionally accessorized with strange smells and surly proprietors. In Seoul, however, all internet cafes (PC Bangs) are relatively luxurious, set up for maximum comfort and unfettered gaming. They're staffed and populated with college-aged kids, some open 24 hours. I arrived at this one at 630 AM on Sunday (I still wake up at 5AM!) and the kids were already at it. The computers are high end gaming machines and the chairs are comfortable captain's chairs. Drinks, snack foods, and instant ramen are available for purchase. Behind me, at this PC bang, is a row of love seats, each armed with 2 computers for lovers or buddies.

A smokey mirror on the wall adjacent to my station features the truism, "You can get through anything if you stay put in today. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. If we want a loving life, we must think loving thoughts. Time says, we go PC ON [the name of the place]" Others include "THIS is the place the everyone puruse his pleasures at his convenience." and "Definition of NOLL is the position of being in charge. In other words, boss. It make space that is colorful and present atmosphere according to customer's life-style harmony." Oh, just one more, "Express interior that have accomplished creation of different syle in fusion style harmony with that is smart and soft." I think they're trying to communicate that this place is this dankest place you can spend your waning youth, or in my case, my waxing middle age. Speaking of which, I have plans for a mustache and fatherhood. JK on the second part. Oh, and you can smoke in the PC Bangs.

 

 

Some unnrelated amusing tids: I went into a notebook boutique like you'd see on Mississippi in Portland that was playing the Hanson smash-hit Mmm-Bop from, jesus, 16 years ago.

 

Tonight at the most frequent place at which I take my meals (so old fashioned!) I sat down and tried to get free wifi on my phone (which you can sometimes do here) and looked around to see all 10 or so tables occupied by solo dudes who were glued to their giant phones, this guy included. I took a photo and got out my book.

I will never own a functioning smart phone because I have no self restraint when it comes to dopamine quick hits as illustrated in the following: Remember how I'd always buy McVittie's Digestives in India as a wheat and sugar fix? Well, here they sell Dr. You's which are pretty much the same thing (they might just be branded with a more Korean-friendly name since Irish surnames are unspellable in Hangul, the Korean alphabet since 1340 or whatever the towel said) and guess who's been snacking his little self silly? Something I sort of always knew, but thought about a little more today allegorically was how, even though I know they're terrible for me (I had just successfully fought off a Dan Sloan Signature sore throat with a very stiff tincture of OR grape root and pokeweed and super spicy raw garlic that I bought form an old lady outside a gigantic market) I had to, just had to eat every single cookie from the pack I bought the day before until there were none left, knowing full well that sugar and white flour do not promote immune health and are not tonic in any way. One time I made a pumkin pie and ate a quarter of it at a reasonable pace over the course of a day and proceeded to eat the remaining 9/12s in one sitting the following day, knowing full well that such a snack was a recipe for gastrointestinal distress. My point, you were wondering, is that my relationship with sugar is analagous to our unrelenting draining of the world's "resources" and there's no fucking way we're gonna save a few cookies for later. We're gonna devour them all right now...because we can. And there's no one to stop us, cuz we're adults. Really. Fortunately, I massacred the pack of digestives outside a Buddhist temple (that had a coffee vending machine inside), so all is well.

Put that in your poorly-worded Skull Bong and smoke it.